Fear and loathing in London

Cyclists are a funny bunch. Pretty much every road user has an opinion on them and most are not particularly complimentary. Strangely enough, for someone of fairly definite opinions on a range of matters, I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to go with this piece. I've been thinking about doing the typical "venting my spleen" on the menace of London cyclists - especially since a lot of them seem to have a pathological dislike of bikers - but that's a bit predictable and, actually, I think there are wider problems at play here.

Let's get the moans out of the way first. Some of the London cyclists I come across on my commute into town really have to be seen to be believed. It amazes me the number of times I’ve watched cyclists just pull out into the road around buses, cars, vans etc without even so much as a glance backwards to see what else is going on. And many will use their mobiles or wear headphones, thus rendering them not only blind but also deaf (and stupid) – so is it any wonder so many cyclists get knocked off their bikes? Their general aggressiveness and sense of entitlement also grates - just the other night riding through Clapham I saw a cyclist scream at a young lady with a pushchair and a toddler who had the temerity to cross over a pedestrian crossing on the green man whilst he was trying to get home. With dangerous cycling currently in the news, the guy the other night possibly wasn't the sharpest tool in the box but thankfully an injury was averted on this occasion.

But is this the whole story? Of course not. For all the time that they fanny about and get in my way and on my bloody nerves, as much as they exhibit dubious road sense and often an appalling disregard for other road users, I have to acknowledge that cycling in London is about as dangerous as it gets as a way of getting from A to B. I even tried it myself once - in a laughably brief attempt to get a bit fitter a few years ago, I decided that I would buy a bike and cycle into work a couple of times a week. Oh yes, I could see the new me - fitter than a fit thing, 32" waist, legs like a Greek God. It was a great idea. What could possibly go wrong? Well, being a biker, I am of course used to being a second-class citizen on our roads but I quickly found that cycling in London is different gravy entirely. It is so dangerous. I did it once and that was it. The bike was sold soon after and I went back to my Arfur Mullard lifestyle.

Don't get me wrong, I totally get the fitness and fresh air arguments, just as I'd agree that public transport is expensive, unhealthy and more than a bit rubbish but really, seeing what London's roads are like, and experiencing the vulnerability for myself, I struggle to understand why anyone would willingly cycle in London - especially during rush hour. Cyclists need to be "assertive" just to stay alive - and really, in both numbers and the riskiness of their behaviour, they pale into insignificance beside car/van/taxi etc drivers. Running red lights? In the course of my 35-minute ride to work I see at least 20 cars do it, every journey. Driving while using a mobile? Too many even to count. Blocking box junctions? Pretty much every junction, without fail. Not bothering to signal? Par for the course. Pull into a main street without stopping or looking? Happens all the time. The difference is that when a cyclist (or indeed a biker) performs any kind of illegal manoeuvre, they rarely endanger anyone except themselves.

But what really puzzles me is the general attitude that many cyclists have towards bikers, when really we should be on the same side. Why is it that cyclists constantly try to create a “them and us” battleground? Since January 2009, an experimental scheme has been in operation in London, allowing motorcyclists to use bus lanes. Naturally, and somewhat predictably, cyclists’ groups complained, because they didn’t want to share their “special lane” with bikers. But by and large, the scheme has worked - at least for those of us on two wheels.

What hasn't worked so well, in my opinion, is the amount of traffic that is nowadays allowed to inhabit a bus lane. We now have buses, taxis, mini cabs, bicycles and motorbikes all jostling for the same space. Given that the original idea of bus lanes was to make public transport flow faster and therefore be a more attractive (and green) option for people who would normally just jump in their car to go somewhere, the extension to other road users has actually had the opposite effect at busy times of the day. And it contributes to inconsistent (and sometime downright dangerous) driving by encouraging people to nip in and out of the lane as they require to make progress (and to be fair the aggressive, chavvy vermin that race around on scooters and mopeds are a prime cause of this). So, although I enjoy the freedom to use bus lanes myself, I do have some sympathy for bus drivers, who must tear their hair out at some of the stuff that goes on in front of and around them.  

So, what is the answer to London's traffic problems? I wish I knew. What I do know is this: until the OB crack down hard on drivers' routine disregard for the law - and I mean hard, with thousands of fines and disqualifications across this city - then London's roads will not get any safer. Because drivers are the ones making the roads a deathtrap - not those of us on two wheels.