I'm a biker - GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!

It's been a while since the last piece on BHOB. Mostly this is because biking chum Steve and I have been playing around on French roads again! Following a cracking weekend in Normandy in May riding the excellent French D roads, for our autumn trip we headed to Argenton-sur-Creuse and its environs deep in the Loire region, where we spent an excellent 5-day weekend.

Unfortunately, the days that have passed since I've been back have only served to highlight how huge the gulf is between the two countries when it comes to biking. In three full days of biking in the Loire, we covered 1000 miles, all at a (very) good pace, without any mishap and without attracting the interests of the local Gendarmarie or (the few and far between) speed cameras. French road surfaces are superb and drivers are very aware - even respectful - of bikes. Even police bikers acknowledge you as you pass.

And I have to say that the standard of driving in France is very good overall - indeed, the only problems we encountered came from vehicles sporting UK number plates. In sharp contrast, on the relatively short run back up the A3 from the Portsmouth ferry, I was nearly taken out by a lane-changer and then zapped by one of our lovely (s)cameras. Welcome (back) to the UK indeed....

Getting back into the commute and biking in our wonderful metropolis has been extremely depressing. Having ridden many times in France, Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany, I am now firmly of the opinion that London and the South East boasts the most congestion (perhaps apart from Paris), the worst roads, the most road furniture/lights/cameras, the worst driving standards and the least effective (or fair) law enforcement in the whole of Northern Europe. We are getting something very very wrong in the UK.

Clearly, a big part of the problem is overcrowding. France is roughly five times the size of the UK with about the same population numbers, hence there is more space - particularly when compared to London and the South East. But that doesn't even start to mitigate the dreadful state of our roads or the deep decline in driving standards in this country. As an example, coming back from work the other night, travelling just past the Houses of Parliament, a car pulled out on me forcing me to swerve sharply into a cycle lane. Clearly he felt he had waited long enough for traffic to let him out and so he would simply do as he pleased.

At the next lights I pulled alongside him and proceeded to ask him what he thought he was bloody well doing. His reaction startled even this long-standing and de-sensitised London biker - he started ranting and raving "f**k you, f**k you, you f*****g c**t" he screamed and remonstrated and the bulging of his eyes suggested that he may recently have put something illegal up his nose. At this point I noticed that he had what looked like a metal baseball bat on the passenger seat, so judged it pointless to prolong the "discussion". An extreme example, but this is indicative of what now passes for normal behaviour in London traffic. Bad driving and road-rage of varying degrees is now simply an accepted part of the driving "experience" - and bikers and cyclists are the most vulnerable to people's moods.

Anyway, enough of the moaning, let us rewind to the Loire. Over the weekend there was a mixed bag of weather but we arrived in France to 30 degree plus heat so the trip down to the Loire was an absolute pleasure. Once you get past the trading estates and retail parks of Loire-Atlantique, much of the region is countryside and forests and while I wouldn't call it the most beautiful part of France, it is nevertheless very picturesque.

As with the Normandy trip, we again stayed at a biker-friendly guesthouse - this time the excellent Appletons B&B, located in the countryside just outside Argenton in the Indre department and run by the admirable Edward and Malcolm. If you are on a biking weekend or need a homely and welcoming stop-off half way to the south of France, this place comes highly recommended. It also confirmed to me that my long-term ambition of escaping the rat-race and running a similar type of guesthouse can really be made to work.

As I *may* have mentioned(!), the roads in France are excellent and the Loire is no different. We happened across one of the best - the D940 - which was so good that we turned around and did it again, with sweeping bend after sweeping bend disappearing in our mirrors at ever-increasing pace. Tres, tres bon!

And yet, all too quickly it was over and we were soon heading north, back to the ferry at St. Malo (itself a very nice town) and eventually returning to our overcrowded little island. We've had a couple of cracking trips to France this year and so now we start to make plans for our next excursion in the spring - only this time we will be trying the delights of Northern Spain.

A few photos from the Loire trip can be found on the BHOB Facebook page.